Crossroads

When I was about 17 years old I got into a bit of trouble and that trouble caused a turn in events that when I look back at them, changed my life. Not a lot of people know about the past of Greg Tilly, but the ones who do have probably seen a complete 180 degree change in who I have become.

At 15 years old for whatever reason (there are many different opinions) I was emancipated from my parents and lived in a condo in Florida. We had a crazy, crazy summer full of crime, drugs, girls and booze. We were almost all under 18 with no guidance at all. For the next 2 years I would commit many crimes. I stole cars, robbed homes, beat people near death, sold drugs. You name it and I probably did it and I am not exaggerating one bit...it was probably WORSE than I describe, I was mad at the world.

Sometime around my 17th birthday all of my evil deeds caught up to me. One day while walking down the street smokin' a "Tampa Nugget" blunt my mother paged me, I called and it was bad news...detectives wanted to talk to me. Now, I had dealt with detectives plenty in my youth and generally it was no big deal to me, but this time I knew what they wanted, I knew I was gonna be caught and I knew I was going to jail, I had been snitched on.

After a couple of months and some court battles I was sententenced to 6-12 months at Crossroads Wilderness Institute in Punta Gorda FL. Let me tell you something, I was scared to death! I had been to jail before and had been to the detention center in Manatee County briefly, but I had never been at a place for 6 mos to a year and I knew that this place was way out in the woods. I wasn't looking forward to it.

I remember the first day pulling up to C.W.I. in the car with the transporter. I was shackled at the ankles and handcuffed and it seemed like we had been driving in that van through the woods forever. Nestled in among the Palmettos in South Florida and down a long dirt road C.W.I. was NOT anything like any place I had never been. I had no idea what to expect and when we pulled up to the wooden cabin we were greeted by a muscle bound black man with a flat top and an open face gold tooth and a lighter skinned black man with green eyes. Now, I am not your typical white boy...I am totally comfortable if not MORE comfortable around people of color...but these guys scared the hell out of me (at least the big guy did). They introduced themselves, the big guy with the gold tooth was Mr. Holloman and the other was Mr. Chestnut, the Director of Operations.

The gentlemen took we into an office where Mr. Chestnut had to leave and deal with a loud mouth little red head kid and I was taken of of my shackles and strip searched. I was issued a punch card type thing which was a scorecard of sorts grading me for behavioural things like Discipline, Leadership etc. I was tossed a laundry bag and a mat and off I was to DORM I.

Dorm I was the first place that everyone who went to Crossroads started. This cabinlike dorm was directly across from the office separated by a small grassy area and a bunch of picnic tables. I walked into that Dorm and it was crazy. Kids were bouncing off of the walls in there like that had just smoke a fat sack of crack! Kids were running around, mouthing off playing games and there was this one kid just shouting orders at everybody and it smelled horrible, like feet. All of a sudden the door burst open and this Dr. Dre lookin' musclebound dude raised his voice. Every single person in that room stood at attention. This guy was Mr. M.J. and when he spoke people listened (well most of us did). We came to order and were instructed to line up to eat and we went to the mess hall.

When in the mess hall, I noticed that the food was prepared by the kids under the supervision of this biker looking dude. It wasn't the greatest food in the world but I ate it quickly, when finished we went out to the rec. where we were free to lift weights, play volleyball, basketball or horseshoes until sunset. At sunset we went to our smelly dorm room took 3 minute showers (times strictly) watched a black and white tv, played dominoes and went to bed. The place wasn't scary anymore, but one thing I can say...IT SUCKED, I WAS MISERABLE. Just wait 'til I discovered the morning.

In the morning we were awoke at the crack of dawn by this kid Robert screaming and shouting orders. This dude was like the biggest dude there and he just barked..."Get up, do this, you do that". Now I was coming off of drugs and alcohol and had not cigarettes and this is the last thing I wanted at six in the morning. I tried to ignore him thinking he was just one of us and was pulled off the top bunk by my leg. My chore was to clean the toilets....GREAT@!$!

We finished our chores and I do not even think the sun was up yet when we were to march outside....yes, march, all around the property singing these military sounding chants. It was just like the army or something. Finally we jogged over to a cement slab where this dude Robert would scream out exercises and we would HAVE to do them. Then it was on to a day of classes and it was repeated.

Every day seemed the same at C.W.I. for a while. I got into trouble once and I had to go out into the woods for three days as punishment. In the woods you had to swing a big iron pick ax all day and dig up roots. I HATED it. Never before have I gotten more mosquito bites and blisters. Sometimes we would work in the kitchen and kids would go on trips to the food bank to get food etc. Dorm I sucked, we were so restricted in what we could do. We never got to leave the campus but watched as others did and we were always in trouble and getting locked down. Kids did dumb things like sneak out, or sneak in tattoo equipment and we would ALL get punished.

Well, the first 3 months or so you were stuck in Dorm I, until you became a leader and acquired enough points on your score card to move up in rank and go to dorm II. Every month 1-3 people moved over to Dorm II where they could play headphones and stay up later, take more trips longer showers etc. Dorm II was a privilege that was earned. About 3 months into my stay I was moved over to dorm II.

Dorm II was a LOT better. You were treated a lot more like a kid and less like a troublemaker in Dorm II. I was able to establish some great bonds with the workers at C.W.I. once I was in Dorm II, went on fishing trips to staff members house and I was really able to take advantage of having positive male role models in my life, which I needed SO BADLY. Once I moved over there it was smooth sailing. I was able to graduate from High School at Crossroads, I was blessed to take scuba classes and learn how to scuba dive at the local Boyscout camp, I learned how to be a lifeguard and I earned a scholarship for college upon completion of the program. I really took off from there, I had accomplished SOOOO much that I was determined to graduate from the program in the 6 month minimum and I did.

Right before I completed the program I was selected to go on a trip to Key West where I was able to use my new scuba skills in a holiday environment with other 3 other kids from the program and 3 counselors. What a trip, I had never done anything like this and had never had as positive of sense of comradity with my friends and teachers as this experience gave me. Crossroads taught me wonderful things. We built our own workshop with our own hands and we had constant one on one interaction with grown men (and a couple of women) who were tough on us, but rewarded us with love and generosity when we were able to overcome obstacles. The place really taught me that there was more to life than hangin' out at raves all night, stealing and selling drugs.

I want to tell you something, Crossroads Wilderness Institute saved my life. While I was there my friends outside got worse and worse. I had friends overdose and die, get stabbed and shot, get put in prison for 10 years or more, you name it. My trip to C.W.I. pulled me out of all that and threw me into one of the most positive experiences of my life. The people at C.W.I. really cared about us and wanted to see us become successful men. Mr. Chestnut and Mr. Holloman, though tough on us, really wanted to see us do well and grow and years later I still popped in to say hello. There was Mr. T, who was always encouraging and Mr. Al who taught us to work with our hands. We had several teachers who taught us academics and Mr. Ferg who took it easy on us and let us watch movies (cuz' sometimes we needed that too). It was my family for the summer and I graduated from the program, high school and turned 18 all at the same time.

There were many years after Crossroads where I still screwed up, hell, I still screw up, but every year I have progressively become a stronger and more independent man. I have grown less reliant on others and have learned to take responsibility for my own actions. I am very grateful to my experience and give a lot of the credit to the staff at Crossroads for teaching me to be a leader, be disciplined and to think for myself.

Not everyone that went to Crossroads made it, but a lot did. The boy Robert who was noted in the beginning of this later went and shot somebody at a club in Ft. Myers. Some kids went to prison. My friend Thom became a plumber and my friend Mike became a father. There were many experiences that shaped us all into who we are today and I would never take those times out of my life even if I could. How scared I was and how much I dreaded that place in the beginning and now I look back and those were the best experiences of my teenage years!

Now, I have a youngster who I am loosely affiliated with down in Florida who is 17 years old and being charged with murder. He was in a fight and things turned out badly for the boy he was fighting. Somehow in the violence the boy got his jugular punctured and died. The young man being charged with murder is really hearing it from the community being called an animal and a monster. I can tell you that this boy is not a monster at all. I know personally that he is a good kid with a good heart, who did a dumb thing and did not know how to act. He had no intentions on killing, but he did. The young man probably will not get lucky enough to go to Crossroads, if he is lucky he will get to go to "Last Chance Ranch" up the road which is a 3 year program. More than likely he will not be even that lucky and will be sentenced to prison.

I want to stress to everyone reading this that PEOPLE can change, but ESPECIALLY children. The more time goes on the easier and easier it is getting for us to just throw people away and let them rot in jail. The United States has the biggest prison population in the world and now we are filling it with our youth. Kids need attention and kids can change. God did not build them DEFECTIVE, usually it is a direct result of their environment. I would encourage everyone that no matter how bad the crime is, to have compassion on these children, look into their history and give them a chance to pay back their debt, but also a chance to have positive role models, education and rewards for their behavior in life. Some of those kids will or may become great people and will thank you for it later. Unfortunately, if we throw them in prison it most likely will not be for the rest of their life and when they are released it will be just like the were released from CRIMINAL COLLEGE, they will most likely repeat crime, because that is all they know.

Use your heads when sentencing the children....

and love each other!

~tilly

please visit this site for more about Crossroads: http://www.cwi-fl.org