I quit writing on this site because originally it was a blog for my adventures in life in a literal way, recently I have found value in my adventures an internal way and have realized that the two go together in a progressive sort of way.
So here we go again.
As we approach Thanksgiving again, I can't help but reflect on Thanksgivings past, especially in the past few years.
I can remember being in New Orleans after Katrina and having Thanksgiving with people who had lost everything at the guest house I worked at. That was the first time I really appreciated what Thanksgiving meant. These people had lost everything and they opened up their arms to me and shared the little they had, as I shared with them. That holiday meant a lot to me. It was during a period of my life when I was learning to stop feeling sorry for myself, to trust life and my instinct and the following years were an amazing period of growth. Now the growth continues...It was a time of focusing on the internal and while I have made mistakes in the process, that focus has brought me to a place of strength and true confidence. Throughout this process I am now noticing the other things coming together in a very natural way.
Approaching Thanksgiving again, this year I don't have to focus on one simple event to be grateful. Things in my life are genuinely exactly what they need to be and I have many things to be grateful for.
The first thing is for my family. I have had struggles with my family for years, some due to immaturity, but mostly from holding their mistakes of the past against them and never letting go. It took some serious hardship struggle and isolation to realize that by not letting go I was hurting myself most and somehow, I have finally learned to let go and now my family life is better than it has been in years. I have earned the respect and support from my family in a simple way not a material one and I haven't felt this close to them in years.
I am lucky to have great friends around me wherever I am. I have really positive and supportive people in my life, I have been working on that for years. In the past I had drawn negative people to me and presently I have drawn great people, you really do attract what you give off. Consequently, I have reestablished connections with old friends who have gone through the same growth as myself and made some great new friends.
I feel so grateful to have a job that I enjoy. With the poor economy and my excessive travels I sometimes worked really crappy jobs where people were condescending or the work was just torture. Now I am privileged to work a place that I enjoy, with people who appreciate me and each other. It's so nice to worked around people who love what they do who provide you with the tools for success and allow you to use your skills to help them succeed. What a great feeling.
In a lot of ways I am rebuilding and hope to always be rebuilding. Thats how you build strength, you tear down and rebuild, constantly striving to become a better individual, just like a weight lifter in the gym.
I used to think outward success was what life was all about, now I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned the last few years. If you succeed internally, everything else will come on it's own and you will appreciate it.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
~tilly
