Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Giving Thanks and Such




I quit writing on this site because originally it was a blog for my adventures in life in a literal way, recently I have found value in my adventures an internal way and have realized that the two go together in a progressive sort of way.

So here we go again.

As we approach Thanksgiving again, I can't help but reflect on Thanksgivings past, especially in the past few years.

I can remember being in New Orleans after Katrina and having Thanksgiving with people who had lost everything at the guest house I worked at. That was the first time I really appreciated what Thanksgiving meant. These people had lost everything and they opened up their arms to me and shared the little they had, as I shared with them. That holiday meant a lot to me. It was during a period of my life when I was learning to stop feeling sorry for myself, to trust life and my instinct and the following years were an amazing period of growth. Now the growth continues...It was a time of focusing on the internal and while I have made mistakes in the process, that focus has brought me to a place of strength and true confidence. Throughout this process I am now noticing the other things coming together in a very natural way.

Approaching Thanksgiving again, this year I don't have to focus on one simple event to be grateful. Things in my life are genuinely exactly what they need to be and I have many things to be grateful for.

The first thing is for my family. I have had struggles with my family for years, some due to immaturity, but mostly from holding their mistakes of the past against them and never letting go. It took some serious hardship struggle and isolation to realize that by not letting go I was hurting myself most and somehow, I have finally learned to let go and now my family life is better than it has been in years. I have earned the respect and support from my family in a simple way not a material one and I haven't felt this close to them in years.

I am lucky to have great friends around me wherever I am. I have really positive and supportive people in my life, I have been working on that for years. In the past I had drawn negative people to me and presently I have drawn great people, you really do attract what you give off. Consequently, I have reestablished connections with old friends who have gone through the same growth as myself and made some great new friends.

I feel so grateful to have a job that I enjoy. With the poor economy and my excessive travels I sometimes worked really crappy jobs where people were condescending or the work was just torture. Now I am privileged to work a place that I enjoy, with people who appreciate me and each other. It's so nice to worked around people who love what they do who provide you with the tools for success and allow you to use your skills to help them succeed. What a great feeling.

In a lot of ways I am rebuilding and hope to always be rebuilding. Thats how you build strength, you tear down and rebuild, constantly striving to become a better individual, just like a weight lifter in the gym.

I used to think outward success was what life was all about, now I am grateful for the lessons that I have learned the last few years. If you succeed internally, everything else will come on it's own and you will appreciate it.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

~tilly

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

NEW SITE

CONSTRUCTION OF THE NEW BLOG HAS BEGUN.
this one was mostly about my adventures...when my adventure ended, so did this "FOR NOW"
PLEASE VISIT https://howfullisyourglass.wordpress.com

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Moving On and Staying Put











Sorry I haven't written in a while! I'm sure no ones reads this anymore, but if you do, here is an update. My wandering the country is over for a while. It was an excellent adventure and a great 3 years in which I learned a ton about myself and about what really matters. I have re-connected with old friends and let some others go as I have been working on filling my life with only that which is positive. I can't say that I haven't screwed up a bit in the process a bit, but my growth has far outweighed my failures. Some people have not understood all of my decisions, but I knew what I was doing and stuck to my guns. Now I am reaping some of the benefits.
I am rebuilding now.
After these few years I am noticing that while tiring, starting over is quite rewarding. I have never been closer to my immediate family and I am proud of that. We have been through a lot.
Now, for the fist time in 3 years, I have a great new job, one that I like. I am discovering a new city and am working on financially getting back to business and taking care of the things which I have neglected.
I got lucky, I landed a job at a hot new restaurant, the hottest in town, where I can freely express myself and show my tattoos and stuff. We have a great chef and great owners and there is a lot opportunity for growth. It's great to work in a high end enviroment and to not only not be judged by my tats, but am encouraged to be myself and rewarded for my skills.
Its funny. Six months ago I worked for a cheap Bar and grill in Sarasota owned by sexist rednecks and told I was a shitty employee and now I am in a very busy high end spot with a great bar, wine and FABULOUS food and am being recognized for my skills and rewarded.
Boy that spot in Sarasota got me down.
Things are not easy by any means, but I am driven to be the best and I truly enjoy what I am doing.
Things are changing now and I have swithced gears and am settled and comfortable, so thats what matters.
WHat a great few years!
I have to apologize for not communicating well right now...I am working hard towards my goals and due to my hippy adventures, I have a lot of work to do. I have a new phone number, so if you would like to talk gimme your number!!
If I don't call....you might be one of those people who I have found to be toxic....PLEASE take it personal and examine yourself!!

Love ya
tilly

PS: as things are chinging so rapidly (except for my location) I will be creating a new blog. The "BEAT" part of my life is over for a while...but this blog will remain for my random trips and intersting people that I meet...they will link up!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

BLOG

As you may have noticed, my blog is on hold until I get a NEW (or old) laptop. I have certain priorities now so it may be a while. If you have an old laptop sitting around, let me know and if the price is right, I may scoop it up from you in the near future.

thanks
Tilly

Monday, March 22, 2010

On The Beat



Not to long ago a good buddy of mine, a purple heat U.S. Marine and I were living in Santa Cruz, CA when we decided to take a trip. It was our goal to camp the State Beaches and travel slowly across the U.S. My friend had done 3 tours in IRAQ and myself, I just wanted to be with family for a bit so we loaded up our bikes and all of our gear into an old model Toyota pickup with a camper top and we set off.

Our journey started with us heading to San Jose where my pal was going to say goodbye to his mother, she sent us off with fresh tacos for breakfast and we were off. As we rolled out of San Jose, we began our journey back to Highway 1. The coast. No sooner did we begin to go up the hill, did the elderly Toyota begin to make a ton of strange ass noises. as we reached the top a balloon of smoke filled our cab. I hada feeling we weren't going anywhere in this truck and boy was I right.
As my buddy proceed to beat the mechanisms of the truck like they killed his firstborn, I began to plot and plan, cuz that's what I do.

Now Jim (my friend) was starting to freak out, he had been through Iraq 3 times and survived, but he had never really wandered around America the way I do, so my Marine friend turned to me for the decision making process. HAHA.

It was my decision for us to back the truck into the woods and prepare to camp out for the night. I thought maybe we could salvage the truck with the right help. So we pushed the truck back into the woods and began to set up the truck for camping (we were not gonna set up tents by the side of the HWY)

Pretty soon a big truck came by, in it was a real nice Mexican family, the dad happened to be a mechanic and this was his work truck. The man checked out our truck and informed us that we blew the engine...I knew it. We made arrangements with the man to come back tomorrow and pick up the truck while we figured out what we were going to do next. (That means while we smoked some POT) LoL

So my friend picked up his guitar, we sat on crates by the highway and just decided that there was nothing wrong, this was our adventure.

After some conversation we decided that nothing was going to stop us from taking our trip, but we were going to have to seriously lighten our load. We had bikes and tents and all kinds of stuff. My friend had a plan...since we were in camo type clothing, my friend made a sign and put it on the truck, on the sign it read "STRANDED U.S. MILITARY BIKES FOR SALE" Now I wasn't military, but I had the look and my pal, well he didn't necessarily have the look these days, but he had the knowledge...so we went with it. Pretty soon we had sold our stuff and not long after that, our Mexican buddy came back and asked us if we wanted a ride somewhere. "TAKE US TO THE NEAREST STATE BEACH" we shouted at once. And that's what he did.

On our way to the State Beach we realized we still had to many things, but we took it all and decided to sort it out at the camp site. When we arrived at the campground we realized that we had almost made full circle back to Santa Cruz. Although the beach was not Santa Cruz, it was considered an area attraction. WOW. We decided to give the guy who helped us the title of the destroyed truck for helping us. He could eventually fix it and resell it or scrap it and we were headed to the east coast....somehow.

That even we talked about what our plans would be, we decided our plan was to not make a plan at all, if all else failed we would just hop on a bus or a plane, but for now we were gonna adventure...this is what life had dealt us, so this is what we would do.

All evening we began going through our things and decided what we didn't need. We still had one bike and suitcases and such. During the evening while sitting by our site on the ocean a tiny little man of about 20 came out the woods. The young man approached us and stated that he had just gotten finished riding the rails in Mexico and he was headed home, funny, he had nothing except a bunch of marijuana in various forms, candy, hash, buds...you named it he had it in a lunch box. As we hung out with the guy we realized that he was a little of nutty, but he could probably use some of our stuff, so we allowed him to search through our discard pile and take what he wanted...needless to say he got some really nice things for free.

Eventually we went to bed, my friend sleeping by the fire and myself in my tent. We had no idea where tomorrow was going to take us and we didn't care one bit.

In the morning we woke up early and went down to the beach. We made some friends who were travelling down to Monterey and we told them we would pay for their campsite if they took us to Monterey, they were happy to oblige and after a breakfast of eggs and toast cooked over the fire we packed up.

When we arrived in Monterey we realized that we had only a certain amount of time to get where we could legally camp, but my pack was extremely heavy. Inside of my pack were a big giant book of photos that my mother had given me and a few electronics that I needed to keep, but didn't need for the trip. So I went over to the post office mailed those items off and then grabbed a couple of cups of coffee and some tobacco.

I returned to my friend who was waiting by the bus depot PERFECT!!! There was a city bus that headed to BIG SUR. Now the adventure really was going to begin....as we road the tiny bus up into the fastest growing mountains in the world and crossed over Bixby Bridge I thought about Jack Kerouac and realized that one more time I was "On The Road".

I WAS GRATEFUL and FREE

*****Check Back I will be continuing this story to the completion of my California Coast adventures

~tilly

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Right Now

When we makes mistakes and fall in life it can be the best experience ever, if we handle it that way.
Recently I made a few mistakes and when I set course to fix those mistakes, I was looked down upon. People who did not understand my situation, nor asked for it were quick to turn their back on me. That's ok.
Rather than fall off of my path I made a conscious choice to pick myself up and go deeper, to focus on the things from my past which haunted my present. I decided to let go of some really negative relationships and to mend some important ones, including the relationship that I have with myself.
I realized that I have had a great life,
I love the things that I have done and through each experience, good or bad, I am consistently becoming a stronger and better person.
Though some may not understand.
While I make mistakes, they are far less severe than the mistakes of my youth (I came from a rough place) and looking back at the reel of my life I can see how far I have come.
I have learned the importance of family,
something that was lacking in my life.
I have learned to be grateful for each walking step,
I have seen way too many people take their last.
And I have never lost the desire to fulfill my dreams.
I will cling to those dreams with all the strength that is in me.

Right now I am in the best place that I have been in my adult life. Please bear with me as I am doing a lot behind the scenes. It's a private time for me....but summer is approaching rapidly~

Love you all and thanks for the messages of concern!!

`tilly

Monday, February 8, 2010

Progression

These are some of the more trying time in my life. It's crazy, you would think that being home and in the sunshine would be so simple. However, when I am on my wild adventures and relying on instinct and God and have no choice, that is a lot easier for me. I didn't come here to relax and I never thought that it would be an easy thing for me to do. I came back to here to face some demons and to handle some things in my life that I have been running from for a long time and I never thought I was going to go through this winter in a perfect fashion. I have become quite a simple person, but I screw up often and the people who I have had relationships in my life don't always accept or agree or even believe in the simpleness of my nature these days. Other people just hate me for it. For no reason at all I have noticed that certain people just "dislike me" now that I am trying to do the things that are right for me. Bizarre and a whole new obstacle for me to learn to deal with. I guess thats what growth is all about.
Spring is rapidly approaching and there is a lot of pressure for me in the town where I went to High School and got married for me to live up to some sort of "status quo". I spent years trying to "keep up with the Jone's" and cheating lying and stealing trying to be someone who I was not. Now I am happy with who I am and accepting that others may not accept me has been quite the battle. Trusting in God and trusting in life is harder here...but I am going to keep doing it. Knowing that life will pay me back when it matters most.
So let the rumors fly, I am armed and prepared for it all my friends, or support me as I try and support you and share my experiences to help us all grow and become better people, making the world just a tiny bit better than it was before.
That's progression and that is precisely why I came home.

1 love
tilly

Saturday, February 6, 2010

What A Week!!??


Sorry that I haven't written as as frequently as I was when I was on the road. I have kept this blog going for a few years and sometimes, I just neglect it...which is dumb. For the last few months I was working at a restaurant here in Sarasota where my aim was to save money to take a trip out to Moab with my friend Todd. My good buddy has been going through some stuff and like this blog the trip was overdue. Unfortunately, the job went kaput. It was a really crappy job. I tried top make the best of it. I went back to serving tables in a bar, where my brother is the kitchen manager. I didn't mind the job so much, even if it seemed like I was taking a step backwards, I just had a manager who had his foot on my head, he didn't like me.

I couldn't understand it. I worked hard and I picked up many shifts that would take up my whole day, sometimes seven days a week and this guy pretty much made sure that I didn't make any money. I don't know why he thought I was an "idiot" but he did and eventually I reached a breaking point. As a whole it would have been a great job. I liked the people I worked with, it was mostly females, I got along with the General Manager and for the most part the other manager, but this guy just didn't like me. We were shorthanded and every day I would come in at 10, sometimes work til 2 come back at 4 and work til 9 or later. It literally took up my whole day.

It really seemed like I worked a lot at this job, but my pay didn't show it. I was just happy to be working. The guy who ran the joint was really cool. He pretty much only worked lunches and would make sure if it was busy, that I got tables, but lunch is short and the opportunity to make more than 30 bucks or so at lunch was near impossible. When I would come back at night the other manager would ramble on to other employees behind my back about how much I sucked, how slow I was and how I would get on his nerves...even when we barely interacted. This happened right from the start. He would seat the girls he liked more than me, take tables out of my section and when I did get the chance to get a good section the one or two times, he made it sound like I was HORRIBLE at what I do.

Now I have had bad nights in restaurants. I have worked in them since I was 15 years old. I have worked very high volume, in very high pressure intense places and I always flourished. I am and have always been extremely comfortable working under pressure and I did no different here. It really upset me that I had this guy sending me home and literally reaching into my pocket and taking my money out. I began to get frustrated and reach a point to where I always wanted to go home. I basically did all of the sidework like getting ice and refilling things and never was given any customers. The few times I did get them, was when they had no choice and I was slammed sometimes with 8 tables sitting at once.

I could go on and on about how in a place with 12 table sections and no bussers that I got what we call "in the weeds" and handled it, all the customers leaving happy and my friends and getting almost 20% tips every time and when I did, all my customers would get up and this guy would get mad at me for not having all my tables wiped down yet. Right after a big rush. There were times when I would make a small mistake and this guy would throw a fit. The next day, I saw him make the same mistake. No one else seemed to think I did a bad job, in fact my other co-workers stuck up for me expressing that I was a hard worker and that made things worse. In the past I would have just walked out of a place where I was treated so unfairly, but I respected my General Manager and my brother and when this jerk got on me, I just worked harder.

I want to just rant about how much I saw this dude help other people, yet if he had to do one thing to help me, I was an idiot and a moron, but when I confronted him, he was a coward and didn't say anything to my face. He blamed the schedule. He had no just reason to hate me. He just hated me. I don't know why. As tourist season hit I finally got a few good shifts. I deserved it, everyone else thought I did as well, people tried to give me their good shifts to help me out and this guy always said no I wasn't strong enough. Bullcrap, I have worked much busier places in New Orleans, here and New York City and I not only didn't ever have a problem, but I was promoted quickly. My resume and references prove it. Finally I was forced to get a good shift and promised that it would be mine for good, you see the staff that has worked there had worked there for years and you had to wait for someone to quit, get fired or some other change to move in on the good shift. I earned it, worked it and the guy took 2 of my tables out of my section and gave them to this girl and at the end of the night said I sucked. I rang $700 + that night error free and made over 20% in tips. I did nothing wrong. The average menu item is $10 at this joint so $700 in a couple hours with no errors is pretty damn good, I felt good about the shift, felt I proved myself and was confident that I earned the shift. For some reason he said I did horrible and from there on that good shift became my day off.

Soon I didn't want to be there anymore. I was caught in a trap where I felt loyal to my brother, I was making little to no money. My sister got mad at me because I owed her money and she just didn't believe that I was not making money. I always made over $100 every where I have worked in the past and now I was making sometimes $10, $30 and maybe $70 if I was lucky. I got scheduled for all of the bad shifts, even though there were good shifts available due to someone getting fired and suspended. I did have one good week, when someone g0ot suspended, that was it.

I'm sorry to write a blog rambling about this, but I write my blog to help people and also it is therapeutic for myself, and the only IDIOT I have been is ignoring the passion I have, writing. I wanted to flip out, but as I have grown in life I instead tried to talk it out with management and just tried to brush it off and work harder, I came to a snapping point last Sunday.

A person can only handle so much of being an "idiot" and every time someone stuck up for me it got worse. People I worked with told me that they could not understand why U was a hard worked and treated so poorly. The General Manager stated that he had no idea that there was even an issue. It was cowardice "hating" and I still don't know why.

Last Friday, I was
"told/asked" by a fellow employee to work her night shift. I closed lunch that day so that meant working from 10 am to 9 pm with no break. I had done this 4-5 times and didn't want to do it. She was excited, it was her first night on the bar as a bartender and we were busy when I was asked, I never really said no or yes, I didn't want to do it and time went on. I don't blame her, she was excited to be promoted to bar and wanted to work that shift, but as per the rules, the schedule was never changed or altered buy a manager, I never spoke to a manager and this is a big deal. I had been sent home in the past for switching shifts without a manager approvals. I WAS NOT obligated to work that shift and frankly it was illegal for me to work 10-12 hours with no meal break. As Sunday came around I addressed the day manager and he text the guy who hates me and he said I was responsible for that shift, if I didn't work it, I had to cover it, which was crap because I was in NO WAY obligated to work that shift PER POLICY. I became more frustrated as the day went on, knowing that I was basically being forced to work a crap shift with no break by I guy who broke my balls every day and stole my shifts. The week prior my Friday night was mysteriously crossed off and I was replaced by someone else. No one owned up to it. COWARD. I didn't want to help him or work that shift and I said that I would not.

When this manager came in I was cashing out. He asked my what was up with my night shift. I simply stated that I was not obligated to work it PER COMPANY POLICY and he then fired me. Things turned heated almost physical and I asked him why her always "bleeped with me" and he told me I was a moron. I threw my paperwork at him and left. I woulda fought the guy. He is a big dude, but I know the streets and I woulda fought him....but I woulda probably stabbed him in the eye with a pen at that point. So I just left.

I promised revenge, I promised to get back at him. I had and have rent due, I upset my sister due to money being taken out of my pocket and I worked hard, every day, sometimes 12 days in a row, only to get my throat cut every chance I got at getting money. I was blatantly being treated unfairly OFTEN.

As the week went on I worried, I stressed, I thought about revenge, I wrote a letter. I though about the old Greg and what I was going to do to make money and survive 'til I found a new job, I made tips so there was no big check coming. Then I hurt my knee bad. I wanted to give up, for a second, I wanted to just hurt everyone just like I did as a teenager when I ran the streets. I wanted to rob, cheat and steal and make everyone pay for me working so hard, doing the right thing until I reached my breaking point and then getting screwed. I spent a week in misery and then today I went to the church on the corner, sat in front of a statue of Jesus and just waited, just like I did way back when in New Orleans when I had no where to go. If you have kept up with my blog you know that ended up being the most life changing experience ever that summer.

I sat at the statue and I got no answer. I just cleared my head and left all of my problems from the week right there on the bench in front of the statue. I wanted answers, but most of all I wanted peace and I attained that.

Today I let go of that job, that place and that guy who hated me. I don't know why he hated me. Maybe it is because I had joy and he didn't, maybe it is because a girl liked me, maybe I did suck (ya right), but I laid it all out there in front of that little statue and accepted that I had no control of those things and it felt good.

Now I am writing this, because my writing gives me closure. Tonight I decided that I am going to get a new job in the kitchen next time. I cooked a dinner for a great friend, pasta with stone crab and shrimp and she told me that I always cooked the best meals and I had an epiphany. I know all about the business and have ran a floor of 18 people been a bar manager and designed a whole training regimen for a N.Y.C. spot. I was in Management from 18 years old to 23 and was very successful and now, I am going to learn to be the CHEF. I have ran a line and understand the costs and the business end of a kitchen, but I have never mastered a kitchen. Maybe one day I can own my own spot and create all of my own items and as a chef I can definitely work in great locations. Not so bad. My resume speaks well, to add "CHEF" would be a wise choice. No more waiting tables...thats what I did when I was a kid. (no offense front of the house friends)

Some times ya just have to accept things, let things go and look for the bright side...even if it is hard to find. There is a lesson in everything and if you can patiently try and wait and be a better person, handling things better than before...the answers come to you. I can prove it!

Sorry about the rambling. I know that this is less interesting than my stories of being on TV and eating Gumbo with people after Hurricane Katrina, but I had to write this to let go. I hope that you gather something from it.

1 love
tilly

P.S. most of my readers are not local, but don't ask the name of the joint. I am not going to slander the establishment in any way even though I know some NOT SO NICE things about it. Just letting it go.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

DONATE NOW!

CLICK THE PICTURE TO DONATE TO THE AMERICAN RED CROSS

Monday, January 11, 2010

Nate


I once knew this kid named "Nate", he was a pretty cool kid, played football for my local High School. Nate never really did really good, nor did he do bad in school. When we all graduated and went about our business, Nate began working with his father. His Dad owned a pretty good sized landscaping business in my town. Nate always looked good, Abercrombi shits and jeans, you could regularly see him out at the local nightclubs, usually arriving by himself and always knowing everyone there. Nate had no problem getting girls.
The thing about Nate is that he really spent a lot of time alone. I mean, Nate had friends and hung out with my crew. He come over to the Apartment on Sundays and watch football and play Playstation with us.
It wasn't a secret that Nate like to eat painkillers. I like to catch a buzz and every once in a while we would be having a few pitchers of Miller Lite at the Ale House and I would toss him a five for a Percocet. He always had perks, tabs and a muscle relaxer or two.
You see, Nate was in a bad car accident one night while out with his girl and he really screwed up an already bad back, awakening an old injury that he suffered on the field in High School. That is why he always had painkillers and no one ever thought much of it.
As time when on we all grew older, everyone settling in with their families, homes and careers. Some of us became young professionals, while others, like Nate, did things like take over the family business.
Over time Nate's Father passed on, it was now time for Nate to take over the family business and that's what he did.
We all knew that Nate hated working for his Dad, he hated the whole business, but he felt like he had no choice and just accepted it as his destiny.
Every Friday night we would all meet at "Evie's" where some of us began to notice that Nate was quite belligerent most of the time. He would act rude to the waitresses and was always either mumbling some aggressive nonsense or falling asleep in his chair. He rarely left a tip.
It was sad to watch Nate's demise. Most of us knew that he was quite broken up about the loss of his Dad and it didn't help that he hated his job, but Nate just became impossible for us to be around.
We all had families now and wives and careers and some of us were pretty prominent members of society. We only met up Friday nights and maybe Sunday afternoon and Nate was an embarrassment and a drag. No matter where we were he was making a scene, or not making any sense at all. I remember the conversation one Friday night over a pitcher of Blue Moon. No one wanted Nate at their homes or anywhere that they were anymore. We discussed switching our Friday hangout to "Monk's" in hopes of ditching Nate. I mean, Nate had a girlfriend, he had other things to do and frankly, my wife didn't want him around our children anymore on Sundays, he had a filthy mouth and last week spilled beer on the floor not once, but 3 times.
I never did get the courage to uninvite him to Sunday football at my house. Every week we switched houses and we just sort of messed up the rotation on him and made excuse for what we were doing.
Once Sunday, after a couple of months of "No Nate" he showed up at my house a little more chipper than usual. We all were having a great time watching the game and talking trash when I noticed water starting to cover my living room floor. I made mention of the water and me and a few of the boy's began looking for the source. It was coming from the bathroom, the door was closed and the light was on.
"Holy Shit" I thought, Nate was in there, "How long had he been gone?"
No one really noticed that he was missing, we all pretty much blocked him out when he was around and as we banged on the bathroom door there was no response.

We could hear water running.

As we pounded on the door, I realized that I had no choice but to kick it down. I kicked once and then again and the door swung open. To my surprise there was Nate, bloated and floating in my bathtub. On the bathroom sink was a syringe and a bottle of pills marked "Oxycontin".

We pulled Nate out of the door and I checked his pulse.

My friend had died in my bathroom!

As we began to go through the motions, notifying family, next of kin attending funerals, I wondered: "Why didn't anyone ever know that Nate was IV'ing drugs?" We always knew he had painkillers, but didn't anyone every put 2 and 2 together and realize that he was doing this evil to himself?

No one ever noticed.

I later learned from Nate's girlfriend that the regular painkillers had lost their effect. The Doctor had upped Nate to the lethally strong OxyContin and after his Fathers death, he began scraping the time release coating off of his pills, crushing them up and injecting them. No one every noticed, because no one ever saw any signs. Nate simply went to the Doctor once every few months, just like everyone else and the Doctor wrote him a prescription for a drugs powerful and almost identical to Heroin.
It was easy for him to slip up, he never went to a drug dealer, never ran out and it was always affordable.

The only reason his girlfriend knew was because on evening after a tough day at work, he went to her house and broke down in tears and told her, showing the marks on his hands from where he injected the venom.

A lot of people around me and around our great nation are dealing with friends like Nate and maybe don't even know it. Pharmaceutical companies and Doctors are making big money flooding our streets with a drug that is the exact same thing as Heroin. It's easy to get and even easier to justify because it's from a Doctor. These drugs come in many forms, pill, liquid, patches and they even make a Morphine lollipop.
Yep, that's right, MORPHINE (A LARGE DOSE) inside a piece of candy.

Our friends are dying people and if you are between 16 and 35 I guarantee that you have a friend like Nate.

Growing up here in Florida, I have had many. As a matter of fact, Nate is a fictitious character who I created out of a handful of true stories of actual friends who have died at the hands of the Pharmaceutical Industry.

It's not a joke people. Corporate America, our government and our medical professionals are flooding our streets with poison.
And making BIG BUCKS.
They don't want us legalizing a safe alternative like Marijuana because they do not want to put the power back into the hands of the American people. We are being dismantled internally buy our system and our too blind to realize it.

It's almost too late.

It's time to get our hands dirty and save some lives. Pay attention to your friends and notice if they are acting strangely. But more importantly, get out there into your voting booths and put these people out of business by voting to legalize safe and natural drugs like Marijuana, a crop that we can grow and farm and create an industry here for our people which can be farmed creating jobs and the many other products which can use HEMP. And also write your congressmen for laws banning the distribution of strong opium based medicine. These drugs use OPIUM, which comes from a poppy plant in terrorist infested places like AFGHANISTAN, not here on American soil.

Hold these drug pushing Doctors accountable, they are drug dealers. While your children and friends are dying, they are spending time on a vacation provided by the drug manufacturer for their excess of sales of these deadly narcotics.

More importantly, be involved in your friends lives. It is that easy for a friend to hide a secret, a deadly secret, that could kill them in an instant.
Let's get control of our communities again, let's take back control of our country and take care of each other.

Love Each Other

~tilly

Friday, January 8, 2010

Johnson's Pond


This past winter my travels took me up to Rhode Island, the place where I was born. The first night I was home it snowed a great deal and after a long night of drinking and socializing with old friends I found myself walking on the frozen ice of Johnson's Pond. Johnson's pond is in Coventry, the town that I grew up in and I couldn't help but recall the many childhood memories that my family and I made for ourselves on it's muddy banks.

Johnson's Pond is a great big pond. My town of Coventry was considered sort of a hick town when I was growing up. We had a lot of lakes and woods and most of the men were blue collar. The one "upscale" community, Wood Estates was on Johnson's Pond and my grandmother had a home there and a little patch of beach sand. Down at the lake we had a little screen house with plumbing and a couple of docks, a small fishing boat and a pontoon boat. Every Independence Day we would load up on the boat and watch the next door neighbors display of fireworks.

It seems that no matter where3 you were in my town, you had access to the pond. It was huge. I recall the warm summer days growing up with Tim when we would scape through the leaves and catch worms, or stay out past sunset and catch night crawlers with our flashlights. We would sit out on the dock all evening catching sunfish and hoping for a bass while listening to the Red Sox on the radio. Just boys being boys. Every once in a while my father would wake us up really early and we would row the row boat way out onto the lake into the underpopulated areas and reel in bass until the sun came up.

There were tons of activities on the pond. My family would have family reunions and we would play horseshoes while the older folks sat in the shade and played cribbage. We would take turns riding out amongst the older kids on the jet ski's or jumping off the end of the dock doing cannonballs. Once a year the next door neighbor on the other side would do a water ski show and I was always amazed to see the pyramid.

Every once in a while a bad thing would happen out on the pond. One year during the firework display a man got his arm blown off by a mortar. My Uncle Donald (who I am named after) died on that lake during his graduation. He was 17 years old and he went out to retrieve a ball and never came back. And there was always the stories of drunk high school kids driving out on the ice to do donuts in their cars and falling through. We never thought about it when we were bridge jumping, but we were lucky as well, because once a year someone would take a dive off of a bridge and break their neck. There were huge alligator snapping turtles in the lake as well and fisherman were know to lose a finger due to the ferocious grips of the turtles jaw.

Whether it was through tragedy or fun the pond was a big part of my growing up and it held many life lessons for me and my little brother. I learned to ice fish on the pond. It was also here that I learned how to swim. I am really grateful for all of the boyhood adventures and memories that I have growing up on this giant lake in the nation's smallest state. Before the age of 12 my youth was sort of like Huck Finn, we lived in a town full of lakes and woods and we were always hiking around looking for Bigfoot and catching fish. From an early age I had access to a canoe and fishing poles and I used to love to skip school and listen to the RedSox on the radio while fishing the lakes. No matter how crazy life got in my teenage years, I have great roots which stem from my youth and my days frolicking about on Johnson's Pond.

~tilly