Little Church In L.A.

I think it is because of some of the craziness that I witnessed as a youth that I am very skeptical and careful when it comes to church, I have witnessed a lot of fanatical stuff in my life and I have also first hand witnessed religious leaders abusing there powers, controlling people and using the pulpit as a business, rather than guiding people and uplifting them like they should. Over the years I have attended many different churches and I am really dissappointed and upset with a lot of what I have seen across this country. While I have seen a lot of unsincere establishments, while I was in L.A. one chuirch I attended stood out from the rest.

This church did not own a building of its own. It was ran by a family, a husband his wife and their daughter. The church did not have any fancy stained glass, it operated out of an art school and the minister did not take a salary. The church was usually pretty full, there were transexuals homeless people, drug dealers addicts and former addicts and this church was very ethnically diverse. The pastor was a black guy in his early 50's, his wife was a white lady who played the electric guitar and led the songs and the daughter basically helped out with a little of everything.

Every Sunday before the service I would arrive early along with several others and we would set up a dining area. Myself along with other members of the church who could afford to would bring various breakfast items like milk, O.J. and bread and the Pastor would make up one of his hot mixtures of eggs and sausage and things of that nature. Everyone would chip in together and we would share a meal, many of the congregation were in bad spots in life and I am pretty sure this was the only hot meal that they had all week. We would fellowship with each other for about an hour. This was a place where you could really see the every day struggle that a lot of people were going through. It was also a place where you could see firsthand and hear the blessings that people receive when they decide to give back and purify their intentions in life.

I have very Christian roots. I know the Bible well and I embrace the core message in the Bible. I believe that Christianity is what I was born into so if I did not get anyhting out of it, then my while upbringing would have been in vain and I feel that everything happens for a reason. While some may find my style unorthadox or radical because it is different then the norm, I feel like I do thing the way that was orignially intended. I also follow a Bhuddist philosophy concurrent with my Christian base. I know that a lot of people feel that this is not possible, but I dissagree. I think that the Bhuddist religion is very much a religion focused on self betterment and I very easily have merged the two. Hey, it makes sense to me.

Well, at this little church after we broke bread together, we would sing some of the songs that I remember singing in Sunday school growing up. The message was very simple in this church, everyone was accepted and loved, no matter how they appeared, dressed or what their lifestyle was. After a few songs led by the Pastors wife and her electric guitar, we did an offering, testemonies and then the Preacher spoke. This church was the most genuine church I have ever attended and as an adult remains the only one that I actually commited to be a member of. After church was over there was a tremendous amount of leftover food so I would collect up some plates and travel through Santa Monica delivering them to the mentally ill and homeless of the town who were unable to get around.

Attending this church every Sunday made me feel good. I felt a sense of belonging with the Pastor and his family. There was no catch, no fancy buildings no preaching of the end of the world, fear and get rich quick stuff. The offerings that were given were recylced directly into the cause and went to purchase the breakfast for the next week. It was really amazing the people I met at this chuirch. I felt great at the merging of many different lifestyles and people all learning about each other, encouraging each other and accepting each other for who they were.

Now I have been to many churches and seen many gimmicks. Churches with coffee shops in them, theatres big stages and performers on stage. My mother attended a church once in a town where the median income wa $19,000 yet the Pastor's salary was $66,000 more than 3 tines the average of a member of his congregation. Churches have become such an easy place to hide money, such a business. They have also become a social club where some are accepted and others are turned away or frowned upon. It is a shame that this has happened. I am very dissapointed that many churches focus on telling you how to think or live, rather than letting what is internal guide their flock. It seems that there are so many denomninations because no one can agree what THE LAW is. I believe it is in the book of Romans where it talks of Christ coming to abolish the law.

It seems that everything that the first churches set out to be has been placed by the wayside, but this little church in L.A. was different. I feel and felt like that is what church is supposed to be. The only goal of a Christian should be to be like Jesus and to LOVE EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY if they are different or wierd or what you would consider sinners. It is a shame that there is som much judgement that goes on these days. I am sad that out of the hundreds of churches I have attended, I have only found one which I feel was and is duplicating what the original church intended.

Now I am not saying that if you go to a church that is big and fancy it is bad. I just feel that a lot of people have lost the idea on what it is really all about and the system is VERY manipulated. I thank God for my time at the little church in L.A. It really taught me a lot about giving back and accepting everyone, NO MATTER HOW DIFFERENT they are. Give. When you give expecting nothing in return....thats when you really become blessed.

Just another lesson I learned in my travels.

Tilly

My Yogi Walk Is Over

A little over three years ago I had been going through a very turbulent time in my life, I had was recently separated from my wife had just given up my little house in Palm Springs, California at the bottom of the mountains and I was struggling to find and identity again. I was also furious at life for taking away all that I had attained. I was living in Georgia where I was selling cabins and cottages and making decent money and I was also hiding out from the world and everyone I knew. I had become an isolated loner who had burned bridges with friends and family and I was going down a dark road that I somewhat went down years prior as a youth and I knew that I had to stop. I was miserable and had I not jogged myself out of it I would have most likely died.

At this point in my life I was so focused on the past and on material things that I wasn't getting anywhere. I was secretly doing drugs and sabotaging my life and while I was making great money, I was getting nowhere, I was unhappy. About this time I picked up a book on EBAY "The Autobiography of A Yogi" by Paramhansa Yogananda. This book was the first book written to the Western world by a Hindu Yogi. As some of you know I am and have always been very interested in different religions and cultures and I am very inclusive on ALL religions in the world as we are all put here for a reason and I feel like some of us are just given different maps. Anyhow, I picked up the book and realized that in this religion as in other religions and cultures, the enlightened ones or the ones who dedicate their lives to the religion go on some sort of life's journey upon reaching adulthood. In the Hindu religion Yogis go on a three year journey of detachment where they get rid of all material things, (no matter how wealthy they are) and just go out into the world and rely on things like the kindness of others to survive. The lessons that this taught Paramhansa Yogananda intrigued me. One day after listening to the song "It's Over" by Corey Smith (look it up, its great) I took $1500 hopped on a bus and headed to New Orleans and didn't look back.

I have to tell you all, I was scared as crap going to New Orleans, it was just after Katrina and it was a crazy, scary place, but anything is better than sitting up in an attic and self destructing at night and sitting in a cubicle during the day on the phone. When I got to New Orleans, I knew no one there. I rented a little room Uptown for 2 weeks and set out to get a job. Well, I had been in this little town in Georgia depressed as hell for a while so when I got there the 24 hour life and honestly, the poker room swooped me up and I got caught up and very quickly I ended up BROKE. Now, not only was I in a crazy scary city post Katrina....but I was penniless. I freaked out and tried to get out of the situation, I turned to family and everyone thought I was totally bonkers for even doing what I did, I received NO support. I was screwed.

I remember as the clocke ticked down and it was time for me to check out of the room and I had NO MONEY, nothing. I was getting ready to be homeless in a very crazy and damaged city. It was UNSAFE. Well, here we go I had decided this is going to be my 3 year YOGI walk of detachment, that's what I set out to do when I got on that bus, so me my laptop and backpack sat in a park at Magazine and Race and just gave in, let go and let God. You see, I would later learn that the walk of detachment would teach me a major thing in life, it would teach me not to ever worry because just like God feeds his birds every day, he will also feed and take care of me. As I sat in the park plugging away on my laptop I totally gave in to life and stopped, for the first time in my life trying to control things and ttrying to force things and I said "Hey God, I have no options here show me this magic that I read about". No sooner did I say that and I looked up at a big giant old mansion where guys were working on the roof. The place was what in New Orleans they call a guesthouse. I walked up to the front door, walked in and saw a crazy old man fumbling through papers on the desk.

"Hi" I said to the man, "my name is Greg and I would like to know if you are hiring here". The man informed me that he needed a person to work in the office and I told him I had worked in hotels while in college. Within minutes I was hired, I told him I didn't want pay, just board. Within a few more minutes I was being showed to my third floor efficiency 4 blocks from Downtown New Orleans (the CBD). That night I sat in a big giant window and plugged away on my laptop with an entire view of the city skyline and thanked God. AMAZING! The next morning I went out to find the job that paid me and was hired at a late night RAVE type bar. Within two day s I was making money and partying with beautiful girls all night long. I later would find old friends from Sarasota in New Orleans and would work on the sets of movies and TV meet brilliant musicians and basically live like a rock star. It was the BEST time of my life.

As time went on life had its share of problems for me, I would travel home to Georgia to help renovate a house for my sick grandmother and she would abruptly pass on. This really shattered my new outlook on life. How could I control all of my destiny? How could I TRUST LIFE when it so suddenly caused all of this unexpected turmoil in my life, I sort of fell off of my path. I would eventually realize that as hard as it seems, we can only control our own lives not the lives of others and I eventually found a way to let go of the sadness and grieving. I went back to New Orleans. I had some more great times in New Orleans, but that page was to be turned in my life. I forgot, I was on a three year journey. I couldn't stop and stay. I hopped on a bus and went to Oregon to visit my ex. After again falling off and trying to bring the past back, I left Oregon this time a little more fearless, this time with NOTHING. I was going to stick to this map I was given by Paramhansa Yogananda.

I went on craigslist under ridshares and found a ride into California. As I winded and turned down the mountainous turns of the northwest the trees go bigger and bigger. I truly was in the middle of nowhere and under giant Redwoods. Eventually I got dropped at a gas station in the Northern tip of California and I had no idea what to do, I had never hithiked, but I had to get to Santa Cruz where my friend Patience was. As soon as I got out of the car, a truck pulled up and asked me if I needed a lift, 60 miles south. It was dusk. Again life was taking care of me, I had nothing. I smoked a joint with the guys and rode in the back of the truck and they dropped my at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. It was cold at night. That's where I decided that it was the first time I ever saw a Redwood tree so I slept right under one. I have never felt so small and also so one with everything alive then I did that night. The next morning I would finally throw out my thumb at about 7 am and was quickly picked up.

Then gentleman who picked me up was AWESOME. He told me that he had also hitchhiked, he hitchhiked from Mexico all of the way to Panama. The conversation was great and I led him to my blog. All throughout my Yogi walk I blogged. The guy took me all of the way to Santa Rosa and I had $25 bucks but he insisted on buying me breakfast at a coffee shop where I was able to check my email. I think that my adventure was as much fun for him as it was for me. Mind you, I had no maps and no directions, I just was going, I was free and the feeling was AMAZING, it reminded me of my New Orleans adventure. I was again trusting life and not only was it taking care of me, it was spoiling me. It was magic. I hopped a city bus and for a couple of bucks I was headed over the Golden Gate Bridge into San Francisco looking over the bay at Alcatraz. This was the best site seeing tour I had ever been on and I was my own guide.

No sooner was I in Frisco did I hop a bus to Santa Cruz where I met and amazing girl and soon was shaking hands with my old buddy Patience. Santa Cruz rocked my friends. I was again making magic and lucky enough to be in a gloriously beautiful place. Unfortunately, someones else life distracted me when I got to the Cruz. My friend Patience was supposed to let me stay with him, but his buddy that stayed over let his roommate and landlords dog out and it was killed by a car. I was NOT able to stay there. What was I to do? I had no money, Patience let me borrow a small amount, but he was broke and I again had no where to go. This time, I trusted life a little more than the last time it was easier because I had done it and the scenery was much better and whether much nicer. Santa Cruz is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. I stayed in my friends car that night and at 5 am went to the labor pool to work. I was working that day and had $85 cash that night. With my new money I rented at the local hostel by the beach. 2 blocks from the boardwalk. This was a unique hostel, very clean and it was sort of a hippy co-op (Santa Cruz is a hippy place) there was a kitchen where there was "HOUSE FOOD" and travellers were know to stay there quite frequently, what a great place it proved to me where I met amazing people (a great girl) and as a ble to lay my head.

Within weeks I was working at a bar, landed my friends a weekly gig there and soon moved into an apt up in the Redwood forest 5 miles out of town in the mountains. It was great, I worked in the mountain, came down to the valley to work and then down another hill and I was in beautiful Santa Cruz writing and beaching it. I never once struggled, nor did I go hungry. Effortlessly I was able to set myself up in one of the most expensive places in the country. I had great times in the Cruz and experienced much magic. Inside I knew I was still on an adventure, I wanted to act again I wanted to be in L.A. because what I set out to do was a walk of detachment, I lived six mucjh in Santa Cruz and had JUST ENOUGH to get by, nothing more. I acquired nothing. When I lost my job I knew. I hopped on my bus down to L.A. with $300

I arrived in L.A. rented a hotel, it was summertime. I quickly ran low on money. This time I was fearless. I KNEW AMAZING THINGS WOULD HAPPEN. I hopped on a city bus and went down to Santa Monica Beach. As I walked up to the beach I saw a man painting. "Are you allowed to sleep on this beach?" I asked? "Nope" he said and chuckled. "Well that's wqhat I aim to do this week" I exclaimed!! The man chuckled, but that's what I did.

First thing I did on the beach was begin handing out stickers. My friend in Santa Cruz owns a company called "CALIFORNIA GROWN" and people took to it quite well on the beach. That night I was partying it up by a fire with a buncha kids and I knew this was going to be the most magical part of my adventure yet. Those couple of weeks on the beach were magical. I made friends with a band called CONTENT LIFE who drew crowds of hundreds playing on the beach. I was able to wathc them start from nothing and progress right along with me. WE had raves on the beach, there was music, I met my friend Sam who was on the news withing minutes of playing in his Bob Dylan style. I made tons of friends. I rented a storage unit, a gym membership in Hollywood and stayed on the beach and worked on TV shows. I had 2 agencies that I worked on and I was able to not only work on TV shows, but meet many famous people. Withing 2 weeks I was renting a room in Hollywood and watching Warren Beatty walk the red carpet from my window. THAT'S RIGHT, FROM MY WINDOW!

I loved Hollywood! You can read more details about my adventures in these 3 places as I logged them all on my blog. In L.A. I truly did all that I wanted. Effortlessly. Eventually I would again get distracted. No matter how many miracles a person sees, we still are human and lose faith. Other peoples problems or are own get in the way of us receiving the gifts that we are entitled. After a trip back to Georgia, up to Rhode Island and back to Santa Cruz a buddy convinced me that I needed to go on one more adventure. We bought a truck and headed down the coast of California. Right away our truck blew up. "No way we are quitting, my friend, this is how it was supposed to happen" I was now able to share all that I had learned and was very confident. We had a blast! We hitchhiked and mountainbiked down the entire coast of California camping all of the State Beaches and then took a bus to VEGAS where we stayed a week and then flew to Florida. It was the best time of both of our lives. I was able to share what I had learned with a United States Marine with a purple heart and I earned his respect. That felt good.

When I arrived in Florida, I knew my time was over. I had found out that I had a misdemeanor bench warrant from many years ago, so fearlessly I turned myself in. I was nervous. I had grown and changed so much since I had gotten the violation of probation charge that the warrant was for, apparently I didn't pay a fine. Well, I did it and I spent 32 days in the jail and put that past behind me. The day I walked out that door was exactly 3 years from the day I bought that bus ticked to New Orleans with Paramhansa Yogananda's book. I had done it.

Now I am in Sarasota again. Just like the shepherd boy in THE ALCHEMIST my journey took me back home and I am grateful to be here. Yes, I walked out of that jail with nothing. Not a dime. It has been two months and I am now living in a beautiful APT with all of the extra amenities that I could want, nice pool, fitness center, clubhouse. I have a job at a happening place with a great reputation and I have my brother and sister close by. I am continuously blessed and no longer am I reliant on material things. It seems that since my journey stuff doesn't matter much, things come and things go. I remember at one point of my journey throwing everything i woned into the sea, literally, I blogged about it. Throwing that backpack was so liberating. We become so dependent on stuff that we miss out on what matters the most in our lives. We must learn that we control our own happiness and we will never find it through the acquisition of material things. We achieve true happiness by giving back to life and participating in it. We are blessed and created in God's image, the plan was for us to be the best...not crap.

I encourage people to try letting go of things. See how attached you are to STUFF. I remember I had this one TSHIRT on my journey and I lost it and it felt like I lost my best friend...it was just a shirt. Enjoy life and enjoy each other and shoot for your dreams, be who you want and do what you want, but do so with good intentions. I am looking forward to tomorrow, but I am enjoying every minute of today and I wouldn't trade my YOGI WALK for the world. Most of all, thank God for EVERYTHING in life, even thr bullshit. As soon as you become thankful you begin to see the good that is in bad, for there is good and bad in everything that is....find the good!

Thank You for reading my blog...go through the archives and read some of my lessons as I learned 'em
I'm far from perfect, but I am always growing. I hope that my writing can help you to avoid some of the pitfalls in life that I have not!

most of all...
LOVE EACH OTHER

~tilly