Sorry that I haven't written as as frequently as I was when I was on the road. I have kept this blog going for a few years and sometimes, I just neglect it...which is dumb. For the last few months I was working at a restaurant here in Sarasota where my aim was to save money to take a trip out to Moab with my friend Todd. My good buddy has been going through some stuff and like this blog the trip was overdue. Unfortunately, the job went kaput. It was a really crappy job. I tried top make the best of it. I went back to serving tables in a bar, where my brother is the kitchen manager. I didn't mind the job so much, even if it seemed like I was taking a step backwards, I just had a manager who had his foot on my head, he didn't like me.
I couldn't understand it. I worked hard and I picked up many shifts that would take up my whole day, sometimes seven days a week and this guy pretty much made sure that I didn't make any money. I don't know why he thought I was an "idiot" but he did and eventually I reached a breaking point. As a whole it would have been a great job. I liked the people I worked with, it was mostly females, I got along with the General Manager and for the most part the other manager, but this guy just didn't like me. We were shorthanded and every day I would come in at 10, sometimes work til 2 come back at 4 and work til 9 or later. It literally took up my whole day.
It really seemed like I worked a lot at this job, but my pay didn't show it. I was just happy to be working. The guy who ran the joint was really cool. He pretty much only worked lunches and would make sure if it was busy, that I got tables, but lunch is short and the opportunity to make more than 30 bucks or so at lunch was near impossible. When I would come back at night the other manager would ramble on to other employees behind my back about how much I sucked, how slow I was and how I would get on his nerves...even when we barely interacted. This happened right from the start. He would seat the girls he liked more than me, take tables out of my section and when I did get the chance to get a good section the one or two times, he made it sound like I was HORRIBLE at what I do.
Now I have had bad nights in restaurants. I have worked in them since I was 15 years old. I have worked very high volume, in very high pressure intense places and I always flourished. I am and have always been extremely comfortable working under pressure and I did no different here. It really upset me that I had this guy sending me home and literally reaching into my pocket and taking my money out. I began to get frustrated and reach a point to where I always wanted to go home. I basically did all of the sidework like getting ice and refilling things and never was given any customers. The few times I did get them, was when they had no choice and I was slammed sometimes with 8 tables sitting at once.
I could go on and on about how in a place with 12 table sections and no bussers that I got what we call "in the weeds" and handled it, all the customers leaving happy and my friends and getting almost 20% tips every time and when I did, all my customers would get up and this guy would get mad at me for not having all my tables wiped down yet. Right after a big rush. There were times when I would make a small mistake and this guy would throw a fit. The next day, I saw him make the same mistake. No one else seemed to think I did a bad job, in fact my other co-workers stuck up for me expressing that I was a hard worker and that made things worse. In the past I would have just walked out of a place where I was treated so unfairly, but I respected my General Manager and my brother and when this jerk got on me, I just worked harder.
I want to just rant about how much I saw this dude help other people, yet if he had to do one thing to help me, I was an idiot and a moron, but when I confronted him, he was a coward and didn't say anything to my face. He blamed the schedule. He had no just reason to hate me. He just hated me. I don't know why. As tourist season hit I finally got a few good shifts. I deserved it, everyone else thought I did as well, people tried to give me their good shifts to help me out and this guy always said no I wasn't strong enough. Bullcrap, I have worked much busier places in New Orleans, here and New York City and I not only didn't ever have a problem, but I was promoted quickly. My resume and references prove it. Finally I was forced to get a good shift and promised that it would be mine for good, you see the staff that has worked there had worked there for years and you had to wait for someone to quit, get fired or some other change to move in on the good shift. I earned it, worked it and the guy took 2 of my tables out of my section and gave them to this girl and at the end of the night said I sucked. I rang $700 + that night error free and made over 20% in tips. I did nothing wrong. The average menu item is $10 at this joint so $700 in a couple hours with no errors is pretty damn good, I felt good about the shift, felt I proved myself and was confident that I earned the shift. For some reason he said I did horrible and from there on that good shift became my day off.
Soon I didn't want to be there anymore. I was caught in a trap where I felt loyal to my brother, I was making little to no money. My sister got mad at me because I owed her money and she just didn't believe that I was not making money. I always made over $100 every where I have worked in the past and now I was making sometimes $10, $30 and maybe $70 if I was lucky. I got scheduled for all of the bad shifts, even though there were good shifts available due to someone getting fired and suspended. I did have one good week, when someone g0ot suspended, that was it.
I'm sorry to write a blog rambling about this, but I write my blog to help people and also it is therapeutic for myself, and the only IDIOT I have been is ignoring the passion I have, writing. I wanted to flip out, but as I have grown in life I instead tried to talk it out with management and just tried to brush it off and work harder, I came to a snapping point last Sunday.
A person can only handle so much of being an "idiot" and every time someone stuck up for me it got worse. People I worked with told me that they could not understand why U was a hard worked and treated so poorly. The General Manager stated that he had no idea that there was even an issue. It was cowardice "hating" and I still don't know why.
Last Friday, I was
"told/asked" by a fellow employee to work her night shift. I closed lunch that day so that meant working from 10 am to 9 pm with no break. I had done this 4-5 times and didn't want to do it. She was excited, it was her first night on the bar as a bartender and we were busy when I was asked, I never really said no or yes, I didn't want to do it and time went on. I don't blame her, she was excited to be promoted to bar and wanted to work that shift, but as per the rules, the schedule was never changed or altered buy a manager, I never spoke to a manager and this is a big deal. I had been sent home in the past for switching shifts without a manager approvals. I WAS NOT obligated to work that shift and frankly it was illegal for me to work 10-12 hours with no meal break. As Sunday came around I addressed the day manager and he text the guy who hates me and he said I was responsible for that shift, if I didn't work it, I had to cover it, which was crap because I was in NO WAY obligated to work that shift PER POLICY. I became more frustrated as the day went on, knowing that I was basically being forced to work a crap shift with no break by I guy who broke my balls every day and stole my shifts. The week prior my Friday night was mysteriously crossed off and I was replaced by someone else. No one owned up to it. COWARD. I didn't want to help him or work that shift and I said that I would not.
When this manager came in I was cashing out. He asked my what was up with my night shift. I simply stated that I was not obligated to work it PER COMPANY POLICY and he then fired me. Things turned heated almost physical and I asked him why her always "bleeped with me" and he told me I was a moron. I threw my paperwork at him and left. I woulda fought the guy. He is a big dude, but I know the streets and I woulda fought him....but I woulda probably stabbed him in the eye with a pen at that point. So I just left.
I promised revenge, I promised to get back at him. I had and have rent due, I upset my sister due to money being taken out of my pocket and I worked hard, every day, sometimes 12 days in a row, only to get my throat cut every chance I got at getting money. I was blatantly being treated unfairly OFTEN.
As the week went on I worried, I stressed, I thought about revenge, I wrote a letter. I though about the old Greg and what I was going to do to make money and survive 'til I found a new job, I made tips so there was no big check coming. Then I hurt my knee bad. I wanted to give up, for a second, I wanted to just hurt everyone just like I did as a teenager when I ran the streets. I wanted to rob, cheat and steal and make everyone pay for me working so hard, doing the right thing until I reached my breaking point and then getting screwed. I spent a week in misery and then today I went to the church on the corner, sat in front of a statue of Jesus and just waited, just like I did way back when in New Orleans when I had no where to go. If you have kept up with my blog you know that ended up being the most life changing experience ever that summer.
I sat at the statue and I got no answer. I just cleared my head and left all of my problems from the week right there on the bench in front of the statue. I wanted answers, but most of all I wanted peace and I attained that.
Today I let go of that job, that place and that guy who hated me. I don't know why he hated me. Maybe it is because I had joy and he didn't, maybe it is because a girl liked me, maybe I did suck (ya right), but I laid it all out there in front of that little statue and accepted that I had no control of those things and it felt good.
Now I am writing this, because my writing gives me closure. Tonight I decided that I am going to get a new job in the kitchen next time. I cooked a dinner for a great friend, pasta with stone crab and shrimp and she told me that I always cooked the best meals and I had an epiphany. I know all about the business and have ran a floor of 18 people been a bar manager and designed a whole training regimen for a N.Y.C. spot. I was in Management from 18 years old to 23 and was very successful and now, I am going to learn to be the CHEF. I have ran a line and understand the costs and the business end of a kitchen, but I have never mastered a kitchen. Maybe one day I can own my own spot and create all of my own items and as a chef I can definitely work in great locations. Not so bad. My resume speaks well, to add "CHEF" would be a wise choice. No more waiting tables...thats what I did when I was a kid. (no offense front of the house friends)
Some times ya just have to accept things, let things go and look for the bright side...even if it is hard to find. There is a lesson in everything and if you can patiently try and wait and be a better person, handling things better than before...the answers come to you. I can prove it!
Sorry about the rambling. I know that this is less interesting than my stories of being on TV and eating Gumbo with people after Hurricane Katrina, but I had to write this to let go. I hope that you gather something from it.
1 love
tilly
P.S. most of my readers are not local, but don't ask the name of the joint. I am not going to slander the establishment in any way even though I know some NOT SO NICE things about it. Just letting it go.
