A Little Random Nothing

Early in life you think that you have nothing but time, but as one progresses and the time gets shorter, it seems that we never have enough. I remember sitting on the dock of the bay, literally. I left my home in Georgia and I went to to Oregon and then San Francisco and then to Santa Cruz where I would reside.  Time did not matter.  After hitting a dead end in Eugene, Oregon and running out of money, I hitched down to Northern California.  I remember the feeling of time not really meaning much.  My first night I fell asleep under the first giant redwood that I had ever seen, listening to the radio and in the morning I awoke, cold and not knowing where the next day would take me.  Rather than having anxiety, I became content and I straggled down to the shoulder which led to the highway, it was like 6 am.  I waited for a minute, throwing my thumb into the air to passers by without a worry and right on time, my ride came to take me into Santa Rosa. That day I had lunch with my new driver and new friend and shortly thereafter I was travelling over that glorious bridge into San Francisco and viewing the famous sights for the first time in my life.  I didn't worry back then because I had no choice, I was forced to live in the moment.  Now, with life the way it is, full of goals and routine, I worry more than I ever have.  You would think that the security of a "normal" life and possessions and would put me at ease, but I  always force to remind myself of my previous lessons, and live in the moment, being grateful for right now.  When it is all said and done, we all have the exact same amount of time.  We all have 24 hours. We cannot control the past and all that we can do is prepare for the future.  That's a tough lesson to learn, but the only way to survive and truly be a happy person, and to have a purpose.  I have spent countless hours wondering why it was so easy for me to be content in some of the crazy situations that are logged  in this journal yet it can be so difficult in my routine filled life.  In the most chaotic of situations, I was surviving, and I had no choice but to let go and let things unfold. Oddly enough, it can be very difficult to convince yourself to do the same when everything is normal.  To be content, is the only choice. Everything usually works out, after all I am still here and its still today.

~another random nothing

~tilly