Ungrateful

I started the day in sort of a negative frame of mind. I didn't mean to, but I slept in a little later than I should have on a Monday. It's winter and has been cold and rainy for the last 5 days or so and I have been running into some roadblocks when in comes to things that "I think" I should be doing. As my day progressed today, I came to realize that the exact situation that I was finding to be NEGATIVE, mainly due to the conditioning of "society" and our "American" standards of life, was a WONDERFUL time for me and in my own life.

The American economy is totally shitting the bed right now. People are spending little, because they have none and there are a large portion of people who are going through terrible loss and feeling afraid and worried and rightfully so. Our government is spending away our futures and our local economies are in turmoil. People just are not able to find jobs and there are record layoffs ALL ACROSS THE NATION. It saddens me greatly to see people losing their homes at a record pace. People are losing all of there investments.

When I step back and I peer back at my life on a larger scale, I find myself to be lucky. 2 years ago when I split up with my EX, I hit the road on a soul searching trip that has had HUGE ups and downs, but was my attempt at discovering myself and "what matters" and healing the wounds of the past. I told myself I would do this for like 3 years and the trip was inspired by many things, but what started it initially was "The Autobiography: of a Yogi" and a song by Corey Smith called "It's Over".

I began my own quest for detachment and enlightenment, to become a better man.

In the last couple of years I have healed relationships in my life. I have made connections and reconnected with people all across the country in my travels, people who I dearly love. I have retraced childhood footsteps with my brother. I have lived in the Mountains of California (north and south). I have graced the streets of New Orleans SEVERAL times and I have seen a lot of what my country and its wonderfully caring and special people have to offer the world. In the last 2 years I have learned a lot about life, who I am and how I want to share my gifts with the world.

More and more I look back at the last 2 years and my life, friends and family and I see how blessed I am, to live in great places and make great memories doing the things that I love and I realize, "maybe right now I am not supposed to be grinding away at life like I did in the past" Today I recognized that! I feel complete internally and I have healed so much emotionally in my own life and I am blessed for all that I have attained, now the fun starts!! My adventure is not even over yet. My friend has an album to drop now, the GREAT part is just beginning. Now, I honestly feel inside that I am the person, the man I wanted to be for so long. My morals are not compromised and my values are defined. I am doing what I feel is "GOOD" and I have grown into a caring person who shares and empathizes with people all over. The people who I attract to me are similar types. I have friends and family all over the country who share and create and are trying to make the world a better place!!

I'm so grateful for YOU!

Now as my day finishes, I am realizing the potential of myself and my future. Travel is very inexpensive right now and while so many people are freaking out and stressed about cash and investments, I am gonna finish up the last 6 months of my 3 year journey and enjoy the cheap prices, a better and more complete person than I was 2 years ago!!!

I'm grateful for that!

I think my trip will end in HAWAII...look for me on the road thru summer!!

DO WHAT YOU LOVE!

~tilly