Perspectives

This morning I am going to write about perspective. Perspective is extremely important our lives, that which we perceive more often then not is what is. Sometimes it seems to people and to myself in my writing, that in life I have really figured it all out, on the contrary, I have not even begun to master life. I can say this, mastering life starts from within and I can truly say that I sit back and observe myself constantly, but as soon as I think I know myself, I lose myself, only to begin to rediscover who I am again. We are constantly changing and we are constantly growing, or dying. I choose to grow.

Lately I have been complaining to myself about all of the magic being gone in my life. I have fallen into routine again and I am finding that I am missing out on the things that matter most and becoming subject to monotony. It is like a slide downward, I have started to notice myself being less social, I am working harder, 7 days this week, making less and spending more. My perspective has slowly slipped from an extremely optimistic one, to one that is full of worry and stress and the exact things I have been worrying about have come to fruition. In the end, I suffer and only me and the problems that were non-existent for a period have reappeared and then unhappiness sets in.

Now I am a very happy and extremely positive person for the most part, however, in this snowball effect I have become snappy with people and they notice. I learned a while back that we manifest the things we aspire and what I meant when I said the magic is gone is that I felt that I wasn’t manifesting anymore. All of the magic that I had been seeing is gone merely because my perspective has shifted. As one thing goes wrong we as people tend to dwell on that problem and forget about solving it. As we dwell on the problem our eyes lose sight of all of the beautiful things around us and things become dull and grey. This is why people get depressed and this is precisely the root of most of our problems. The magic isn’t gone, we are absolutely still manifesting the things in our lives, PROBLEMS.

As I was sitting today, drunk, worrying about money, hating my job and bitter about the fact that I am not doing the things that I want in life, I realized that I was only thinking about how much things sucked. Things don’t really suck, my choices lately have sucked. I can choose to do whatever it is that I want. I can go where I want and I can do what I want. My job will be better as long as I am prepared for it to be good, or I can quit. If I don’t like where I live, I can go. The only person I truly have to deal with is myself and I can be my own best friend, or my own worse enemy. I noticed that I had become lonely lately, which is funny because I wasn’t lonely before and I had NO ONE around me. Now I have tons of friends around and I choose not to be around them. That is my choice and it is a choice that I have made because of a negative perspective on life. How simple yet how complex life is, just when we think we have it all we lose it, even if it is only in simple ways.

Well, I have to say a lot of this has to do with me turning 30 a couple of weeks ago, that is about the time that I began to slide downward and away from the passionate adventure that I had embarked upon. Last night I sat and evaluated myself. I realized that all week long I had been TRYING to be positive and that just may be the problem. You see happiness is not something you try to attain and a positive attitude has to do with being a positive and healthy person. A wise man once told me that if you wake up with the sun you are a happy man because you are excited for the day ahead and if you are up all night and sleep all day, usually you don’t want to go to bed and you don’t want to get out of bed due to the fact that you are not looking forward to tomorrow at all. I noticed that before my Birthday I was up bright and early and now I am up all night. It is a vicious cycle that we start and that cycle breeds depression, failure and unhappiness and if you are like me you seek out happiness in the wrong ways when entrapped in this cycle. I have chosen to break the cycle.

Now for the hard part, the hard part is making the adjustments needed in my life without being rash and without effecting the people that are directly involved in my life negatively and appearing selfish. If I need to change my job, I can change it or work less, I just have to do it the right ways. I am confident that if I cut back to 5 days a week that I would make just as much money, if not more because my perspective would be better. My environment will be better because I will be a happy person and the energies that I deliver to my world will be good ones. If we give good to life, then life gives us good! Recently I was frustrated because I felt that I was giving so much to life and getting nothing back, however, I wasn’t giving at all. I became comfortable with the level of success in the areas of life I had been working on and I began to slip and had forgotten to share what I have to offer. Everything that we do has a direct effect on our perspective and whatever our perspective is, that is what tomorrow will bring us. I don’t know about you, but I want to achieve all of my dreams, every single one. I am confident that I will achieve everything that I desire and I will do so without compromising my values. As a youth angry and full of fear I consistently betrayed the things I knew to be “the right thing” in order to gain the things in life which I desired, those were the most unhappy years of my life. Nowadays, I choose life, I choose happiness, I choose success, I choose love, I choose kindness.
I CHOOSE TO BE A WHOLE PERSON WHO GROWS.

I am blessed to have had experiences in life that allow me to sit back and evaluate and myself bettering my flaws and shortcomings. I am very lucky to have the skills necessary to share my endeavors with you and in return that allows me to see myself from outside of myself. Hopefully in helping myself, I can help you too!

~~~Love Yourself.

Tilly


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