Mistakes

When it comes to mistakes, I sure have made more than my fair share. I’m not going to go into details about the mistakes that I have made, but we are human beings and our path’s sort of shape us in a way and there are plenty of things about my past, even about yesterday that I am not proud of, but I keep on keeping on.

There was a tine in my life where my life was tumultuous I made mistake after mistake, often on purpose and usually those mistakes effect the people closest to me, sometimes more than they effected myself. At times I would feel so alone because of the ditch I put between the people closest to me and I began to act out in a way that would push people away, in order to ease my conscience a bit for the hurt that I would cause. What a horrible way to live!
These days I have focused more on myself and less on the past and the horrible things that have happened to me and I can say that while I still make huge mistakes, they effect less people and most of the time I bear the brunt of my own shortfallings and the people close to me pay less. I have put a lot of space between myself and the people closest to me, temporarily, for that reason. I am rebuilding Tilly.
I have learned that one of the single most problems in the past was that once a mistake was made, I would dwell on that mistake and self loathe and blame others and myself for days and would spend an extensive time in depression, which created a snowball effect causing to make more erratic and more frequent mistakes, causing more problems and creating a deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction within myself. The single best lesson I have learned from all this is a lesson taught Religion every day and that lesson is to let go.
Sometimes I feel that people mike think I lack remorse these days, because I may appear to be unapologetic or selfish in my ways, I have learned to let go of my past as quickly as it becomes the past and that has truly allowed me to make less mistakes and to be a more happy and centered person. I have realized that is why Religion works so well for people, Religion allows for closure and the unconditional forgiveness from God or the Universe being acknowledged in our lives allows us to let go and move on, this is a MAJOR key to happiness in life.
All that we have in our lives is our ability to focus on the present moment and live this NOW in the best way that we can, experiencing the moment and continuing to strive to make our present and our future better. We should express our apologies to the people who our actions may have hurt and we should defiantly apologize to the Universe and ourselves, acknowledging our fallings, but after that happens, all we have is the moment and if we dwell on our mistakes we only create more mistakes and we are not moving forward and growing as people. A plant that is not growing is dying and a growing one is a healthy one and I have chosen the path of growth. That has made me an increasingly happier person. For those of you out there that I have hurt in the past, or who have been effected by my mistakes, I would like you to know that I am sorry and would also like to let you know that while I regret the effects that these mistakes have had on you in the past, I do not regret the mistakes, for without making those mistakes I would not be as happy of a person as I am today.

One Love!

~tilly