Right now I am facing the past more than I ever have in my life. I am facing my fears and I am taking a look at myself and who I have become and while outwardly it may not appear that I have much, inwardly I am grateful for the work that I have done. Tonight, a sleepless night, I have a lot things on my mind and my mind is racing, I also have a lot to do tomorrow, so I look to my pen for some solace. As I focus on the moment at hand, I can't help but wonder, my environment causes me to face the perils of my past every day, yet facing that is what drives me to become a better man. I have my vices in life, but while there was a time in my life when my intentions were motivated by that which is not good, what drives me today is something pure and wonderful, something that gives me peace. My acts are random and most likely will continue to be. People cannot seem to keep up with my next choice and seem to wonder about my integrity in the choices I make, but deep down inside I know that I am on the right path. While I am unsure of when I will make my next move , I am sure that I will make A next move and I always know what that move will be. I set goals for myself and my goal in my present place is 50% met so look for me to do something drastic when the other 50% has been attained.
Most important for me is not to disappoint my grandmother, my brother and my best friend. I am aware that I may piss people off, that's not the same as to disappoint. I move forward towards that mark without regard for what others think of me, in a place where others opinions used to matter most. Seeking only that which is good, in the belly of the beast.
~1 love
tilly
2 comments:
Only YOU know what your true intentions are. If you can make desisions and show actions with the integrity and faith that the ones you truly dont want to dissapoint will support, you know those are the right ones. Believe in yourself for the right reasons and those who respect you and REALLY want whats best for you will support those reasons. There is no time like the present, and the fact that you WANT to be a better man makes you an exeptional man. My personal oppionion is that if you dont piss some people off your nothing more than a "sheep", a follower that has no imagination or true insight.
I refuse to beleive you will EVER that weak minded.
I hope you continue to feel this peace you have been seeking for so long. goodnight friend...konablu
I really appreciate that comment. It really meant a lot to me that you took the time to encourage me and pay attention to what I was saying. You really have grasp of the ideas that I am and have been focusing on for a lonmg time now. THanks!!
Post a Comment